The Not-So-Secret Diary of an OverEater

My Battle to Have a Healthy Relationship with Food


Need to talk…

I am struggling this evening.  I’m really tired and the girls are being typical stroppy teenagers.  I want to sleep and I want to eat.  I have already eaten several stale cookies my eldest made with her boyfriend a couple of weekends ago (they were very tasty) and half a left-over Easter egg.

I thought I’d better start writing on here to distract me from eating the rest of the egg and anything else I can find in the kitchen.  Off the top of my head, that would be: salted cashews, a banana or two, a bag or two (or three) of the not-very-tasty Weight Watchers crisps, a yoghurt, a WW mini chocolate roll or two, and, and, and.  Some healthy, some not so – all unnecessary!

(As an aside, I was introduced to the WW mini chocolate rolls by a colleague of mine and she’s right – they are tastier than the “real thing”!)

I’ve got a whole host of jobs which need doing at home: we’re in the middle of re-landscaping our garden so there’re many tasks relating to that including weeding, digging, clearing ground, re-planting, planting seeds in seed trays, etc; I have a(n?) humungous box full of stuff which needs to be photographed and listed on eBay; I have about 6 boxes full of stuff which we were going to “car boot” but have decided for the £70 (if we’re lucky) we’d be likely to get it’s not worth the time and hassle so I need to get them into the car ready to deliver to a charity shop this week.  All the beds need to be changed.  The filing cabinet needs to be sorted and the old documents shredded.  You get the picture.

All I actually want to do is veg in front of the TV, or go to bed.  Or both – except we don’t have a TV in our room!

Then the guilt starts.  My lovely hubby says it’s good I have a rest as I deserve it.  I just think of the things I should be doing but can’t quite muster up the energy for and then I feel guilty.  Guilt makes me feel low.  Feeling low makes me want to eat.  Eating makes me feel guilty.  Guilt makes me feel lower and on it goes in an ever downward spiral.

The idea of writing this blog and doing the 5:2 Fast Diet is to help me to snap out of the spiral.  Can anyone else relate to this?  Or am I as odd as I suspect?  What do you do to help you snap out of it?  If you have managed to win in your battle against food (this is all assuming I’m not the only one), what was it that finally motivated you to keep going and beat it?