The Not-So-Secret Diary of an OverEater

My Battle to Have a Healthy Relationship with Food

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A Slippery Slope

Hello everyone (well I hope at least one or two people are reading my ramblings!)

Sorry it’s been a while again.  I’ll keep it short this time; maybe if I write shorter posts I’ll get round to doing them more often.

I’ve been really struggling to get a grip on my eating again since Christmas.  Although I had planned to fast on different days over Christmas I genuinely forgot and the rest of the time I was just eating whatever I felt like whenever I felt like it.

I only put on 4lbs which I was pleased about, and lost two of them the next week.  However I have since put two back on so I’m now only 1lb down since Christmas.

I feel I have lost control again.  Even on my fast days I am eating too much in the evenings.  On non-fast days I’m eating chocolate, sweets, you name it, it goes down my neck.  So fast sometimes it doesn’t touch the sides.  I feel fat and bloated again and really annoyed with myself.

Darling hubby and I had a really lovely weekend away together last weekend as an early Valentine’s and late anniversary present to ourselves (using our Christmas present money).  I decided I would eat what I liked then but that would be it.  So it was full English breakfast both mornings, a good-sized lunch and a full meal each evening, with chocolate and sweets in between.

One of my shifts in my new job is on a Thursday evening but as I have to leave home around 5pm, and then don’t get home again until 11pm, there isn’t time to eat an evening meal.  So I’ve decided it would be easy to add in an extra fast day on that day.  So I’ll be doing 4:3 for a while.

I have handed in my notice at my school job; it was just getting too stressful with full-on days most days, loud and difficult teenagers and sometimes vague or tricky cover work supplied by the regular teachers.  I’ve wanted to leave for a long time but was waiting to hear whether I could have extra hours at the supermarket.  In the end I just handed it in anyway and I wish I’d done it sooner.

I am now enjoying my “last” half term of freedom (well Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday at any rate) and I have just 5 more school days left until my last day.  I can’t wait for it to be over.

My only regret is that I will miss my lovely colleagues.  We all get on so well together and everyone has been so supportive to me during the two years I’ve worked there.  Thankfully, as a team, we arrange socials every few months and include two former colleagues already so I’ll still see everyone.

I’m hoping I’ll manage to wrest control back from food in the reasonably near future.  I’ll keep on blogging, in the hope that it will give me some incentive to continue.

The other incentive is more personal.  On Boxing Day, when we visited my parents, my dad told me I looked smart.  I love my dad to bits but he’s not one for expressing himself very well so these simple words were very precious to me.  I know they have been worried about me putting on weight and I want to make them proud by losing it and keeping it off.

What do you use as motivation to help you achieve your goals?